Why should women bear the burden of the ‘motherhood penalty,’ it is time corporate organisations help men stand up and step into their roles as equal partners, writes Divya Bhatia

When I was carrying my first child, I pretty much worked till two days before my C section. Like everything else, I had planned motherhood to the T— a three month break and then I would be back to the work I so loved. Then somewhere along the line, reality hit home. The baby was my responsibility. Leaving him for an hour with a helper was tough and the thought of heading back to work all day and many nights tougher. One bleak winter morning with tears running down my face, cradling the phone between my shoulder and ears, while changing the diaper I told my boss I quit.

This isn’t my story alone.

Women quitting or resenting the jobs that they once loved is one of the saddest social epidemics of our age. It is as much a business and economic problem as it a societal issue.  Years and years of education, talent, ambition and money goes down the drain because the workplace isn’t her place. According to the annual economic survey conducted by the Ministry of Finance in 2018, the female labor force participation stood at just 24 per cent—the worst in South Asia.

In her policy paper, The Motherhood Penalty and Female Employment in Urban India, Maitreya Bordia Das, an economist stated that “having a young child in the home depresses mothers’ employment.” One of the main factors is what some economists call the ‘motherhood penalty’, which takes a particular toll on workforce participation of educated women.

While there are many reasons for this ‘motherhood penalty,’ the lack of parental leave is a big one. It’s not simply just a matter of the right number of days one gets leave, it is also who gets the leave. Typically, the mother gets 3-4 months paid leave depending on company policy and the father gets a week or more to settle transition from hospital to home, etc.

This difference, lays the seeds, not only for expected parental involvement in a child’s early upbringing but also how the workplace views the two genders. After a certain age, we often see women being held back in lesser roles or not taken on key projects because managers suspect they will go on maternity leave at an ‘inconvenient time’.

It’s high time that something’s gotta give and perhaps it will.

Recently, food aggregator Zomato announced 26 weeks paid leave for new fathers. “There won’t be even an iota of difference in parental leave policy for men and women at Zomato going forward,” Zomato founder Deepinder Goyal said in a blog. This policy also applies to cases of surrogacy, adoption, and same-sex partners. The new parents will also be given an endowment of $1000, per child.

Despite this great first move, paid paternity leave might not have many takers, unless enforced well. In a culture where working overtime, on weekends and cancelling holiday plans is worn as a badge of honor, paternal leave won’t stand a chance.  Even in a progressive society like Sweden when joint parental leave was first introduced, men only used 0.5 percent of the total leave per household. By 1994, this figure slowly rose to 11.4 percent. Finally, from 2002 onwards parents were entitled to 390 days of parental leave with two months reserved for each parent. Daddy just had to be home.

A recent study done by Promundo, a US-based organisation states that over 80 per cent of men in Egypt, India, Pakistan, Moldova, Nigeria and Mali say that changing diaper, bathing and feeding children are a woman’s job. The survey also states that when offered, fewer than half of the fathers around the world take all the paternity leave on offer.

Without enforcement and proper incentives, it’s easy to see how the few good men taking advantage of the equal paternal leave would be subject to ‘diaper jokes’ poo-poo pranks and ostracisation from the boys club. Their reputation of hard core, ambitious go-getters would seem to go soft. Perhaps a good way to make sure paternal leave is accepted is to link it with the KRA. Dads who don’t take their share of parental leave within 2 years of the child’s birth stand to miss an appraisal cycle.

When managers see both their male and female employees as likely to go for parental leave, they are more likely to see it as a natural transition to be taken into account while planning work and not just a nuisance that needs to be avoided by hiring and giving lesser responsibility to women. A shared responsibility for the practical care of children would mean a more even distribution of interruptions in work between women and men, and women would thereby gain better opportunities of development and making a career in their profession.

Equal paternal leave doesn’t just help families. It will have a far-reaching impact on the economy and society. Fathers who spend time with children develop better relationships with them and also lead to improved well-being for the whole family. They also end up squashing gender stereotypes, help change gender roles and reduce the scope of discrimination.

Daddy comes home. Mum goes to work. Both without FOMO.

The writer works in the creative department of one of India’s top advertising agencies. She reads, writes but spends most of her time daydreaming.